divineguitar

Thinking about the city of Dubai tonight, and how a few days in that city will probably change my life forever.  I’m looking at splurging for a downtown 5 star hotel, The Palace – The Old Town, which is situated right between the biggest mall in the city and the Burj Khalifa, the tallest thing ever built by man.

Why the significance?, I think – heavens, This place represents hope, excess, the great divide in the haves and have nots, the disparities in genders, and the effects of oil. 

The old adage of PJ O’Roarke, my wealth has no implications on your poverty may ring true — so.  When the developed world buys oil in excess for 50 or so years, you have 5,000 or so sheiks with Range Rovers controlling the wealth, building all sorts of crazy things, all the while the investment seldom reaches the populous.

I hear stories of the places that are ‘friendly’ to men, The Cyclone or The York, which offers escorts by Russians or Ethiopians respectively.  Or, I hear stories of how the global recession has hit the transient working class — both workers and escorts, all coming to Dubai on ‘work visas’ to have their passports taken from them and sold into indebtedness and slavery, while the government turns a blind eye.  It truly is a sad tale of human evolution.

While I’m sitting at the posh hotel, what’s going to be going on in my head is, how does this place get so contemporary and progressive while such inconsistency exists — and then I answer my own question, throw enough money at something and it morphs into whatever you want.

My goal in life is trying to understand how disparities like this form and why they exist.

if a tavern is where people go to solve the world’s problems over a few brews, the walkabout is where the individual soul goes to unwrap their internal mysteries. 

if i were to have gained nothing from this experience other than an extraordinary glimpse into my inner workings while not having to deal with society, I would consider myself charmed.

the not having to deal with society has truly been the inspirational part of this journey.  it’s a privilege, it’s been rewarding. it’s been reassuring to know that i can live under some of the most terrible circumstances from my perspective….war zone, waste, monotony, married to 7 people in a small room regardless of if you like them or not, low speed, high drag … = not my style –

but i’m grown to love my place in it, i will thrive and appreciate anything after this.  Iraq is in many ways my first walkabout — it’s been great for the soul.

recalling 2 short months ago sitting in frost bank tower downtown Austin with such a feeling of awe, i can’t wait for that euphoric feeling to hit me again, this time for a sustained amount of time.

the more you lay witness to outside of yourself, the better home feels.

 What propels me forward…..Money in the bank has introduced me to a different poker table; much as I can describe….a more discerning outlook on the affairs of the world.  Here nothing is taken at face value, nothing appears as it seems-plurality still plays a role, and while the filters are higher, the prejudices are lower — it’s the state of concise vision of what to tackle and why; a state of tactical patience until the time comes to violently execute.

What holds me back…..What separates me from the big boys is true self-actualization.  My digital landscape is landscape of diamonds intertwined with landmines.  One moment I’m quoting Zen Proverbs, next moment is a plate of food, next is the tune that’s in my head…lots of thought, little cohesion.  Actualized people know how to seperate the photo of the hamburger (if they post it at all), and the knowledge that propels the mass – hence they are able to turn knowledge into wisdom that transcends.

By most standards, it’s an OK time to find a nice parking lot on the road of success and have a tailgate party.  From humble beginnings through interesting roundabouts I’ve reached a point where I want to at that ultimate poker table…not have a ‘personal brand’ to leverage, I realize my digital urn needs some serious pruning and its going to take some smart work –

The only bullet points I use are from the folks at experience matters to describe considerations about a digital strategy.

• assume everyone will find out
• don’t get bullied by the crowd
• pick your battles wisely
• be open and honest
• don’t overly obsess about social media

Nowadays the question isn’t ‘to be open or not to be open,’ or ‘ to be transparent or to not.’  It HAS to be the first step you overcome, and if you’re faking it this is a case where the law of average says you WON’T make it.  

The question becomes what’s relevant to what audience.  Different tools have different personal uses, but at the marco view there is equilibrium to be achieved.  My thoughts lead me to believe that all the wisdom of the iconoclasts out there on twitter could be easily counterbalanced with facebook’s addition of the ‘dislike’ button.  Why don’t they add that button?  Because all the harmonious kumbaya inside that walled garden would be eroded with hard feelings concerning politics, local affairs, the author getting the wrong impression of the ‘i dislike you dancing on the table picture’, etc —

My intimate group of friends and contacts don’t seem to care much what I aggregate into the walled garden from my twitter account, i.e. things about books, geography, love, quotes, etc — but they DO like to know what I had for dinner, or other dialogue about pop culture issues, family, friends, or just the the question the machine asked Spock, ‘how do you feel.’  Despite it being a walled garden, I get more engagement in prose from my friends than the open pastures of twitter.

Twitter, I used to HATE it — I used to not be able to get over the fact that someone would care to have a dialogue out on the open range.  It reminds me of two friends with the can-o-beans carved out connected with the piece of string.  You hear the person on the other side just b/c its a shout, not b/c the mechanism of communication is effective in particular context.  Then I realize I might just be a hater b/c I don’t have enough friends who ‘tweet.’ 

So I see facebook as my walled garden of intimate friends, people I’d more than likely would like to have a beer with, and talk about any any everything besides work, I see twitter and blogging as my ‘digital resume’ — Want to know what I stand for and my influences?  Go to twitter and my blog.

I am far from being an iconoclast, but I will be there one day in one way shape or form.  How do I bridge the gap b/w hopeless narcissism and having relevant information to people I want to work with, and how do I make THAT stand out in all the digital upheaval?

How can I accommodate these two competing undercurrents of psychological desire?  How can i still ‘f*ck around’ until I have nothing but quality content that I want to propagate?

The ‘bridge’ answer, I maintain two blogs, in hopes my emotional grind shrivels on the vine -

• kmzen.com – for all my knowledge management expertise and professional insight –
• divineguitar.com – for all my spittle / emotional grind /
• twitter – here’s what I’m up to professionally, here’s tidbits of knowledge
• facebook – where i cultivate relationships with people i know, my inner circle

I’d hope the plight of my digital growth once I prune will be organic, following a good intuition — rising up and down — one day something good happens, BAM, 20% growth — then a bit of stagnation, then… bam, another 25%, etc — similar to my vida loca with small caps.

Ultimate goal, forget the speech and move the stone with a nice steaming pile of prose.  I’ve got a ways to go, but I’ll get there, and the journey will have been of great length.

at least according to Baghdad International Airport –

My friend and colleague ventures out to the civilian side of Baghdad International today en-route to some greener pastures.  The situation encountered is telling –

Starting today, military papers and credentials don’t mean much, if anything out there, what’s mandatory, ‘the exit and entrance visas,’ both costing about 100 bucks.  Between middle eastern countries, these Visas run upwards of $850 dollars.

She explains it best by saying, I picked up about 5 years of knowledge in the course of the last hour’s imagery and complications.  It’s the fringe of hard to describe, hard to organize, hard to explain, hard to categorize –

Sorting out the complications involves ‘emergency contingencies’ like calling mr. ‘x’ at the airport, giving him the secret password and handshake, avoiding the hagglers who will carry your bags 50 yards for 20 bucks.  It’s a lot of chaos management, trust, and nodding to the Gods – 

It takes a special breed of individual from the developed world to have the courage and curiosity to endure the logistics.  En-route to BIAP, it’s apparent why Walt Disney won’t be setting up shop here anytime soon.

We hit up the VBC ‘SG’ area (I guess you could call it a ‘green sprout’ of capitalism) for some Turkish food, I say “Do you smell that?  Is it the Turkish restaurant?’, The response, ‘I don’t know but I think I got a good whiff of diesel’ –

That exchange of words in many ways is symbolic of life in Iraq for those capable of mobility, the rest remains centuries behind.

today could have perhaps been the busiest day of my life — i sit on my a$$ in a corner all day doing various things, today was yale game theory lecture 3, 8 ted episodes, other duties assigned and 8 miles on the treadmill –

i was busy because i was afraid to think, i was afraid b/c of uncertainty of the well being surrounding friends i care deeply about — i was afraid because many things i’ve stood counterpoint to seemed to blow up in my face; things like aloof attitude to divinity, consciously choosing to leave friends and family behind for an indefinite period of time, priding myself on the sociopathic blade on my swiss army knife of emotion, the precarious forms of vanity that occupy my time, the dilemmas i’ve backed myself into, you name it, it poked its head up.

time and time again today i felt as if i was fighting back tears, tears that were coming in realization of how precious and fragile life is, and how vulnerable we are to circumstances beyond our control.  i was scared, i felt alone, i felt helpless.

then i felt the warmth of compassion from one of my real life yet larger than life heroes, my best friend, my trusted advisor.  something dawned on me today, something that’ll help me sleep better at night once it truly sinks in….kindred spirits have each other, i truly didn’t get that, and i still don’t get the extent of it.  tight coupling –

fact is, i don’t have to get it overnight, but i’m glad i see it.  it makes me understand a facet of life i’m VERY WEAK with, and makes me respect people who love each other much more.  i’ve never seen a couple that makes domestication look so sexy, and that’s inspiring.

days like these are earthquakes — the human spirit is strong and can contend — and life can turn on a dime for better or for worse –

love and respect your people, its the only solace true in this world

manuel and laci, i’m proud to know you, my heart will always be there for either of you

Today we begin the process of taking the tabs of Paranoid Android off the sheet music and into the strings of the guitar.  If cohesion is reached, its certainly a feat that rivals, let say, a hard certification test.

As explained in the transcription:

OK lets begin with Guitar 1 which is Thom Yorke. This part was played with a pick and it is quite complex looking because of the loose picking pattern. It is best not to try to hit every note exactly, just try to get the vibe of the song. Any part that guitar 1 repeats is played similarly on repeats.

Guitar 2 is Jonny Greenwood, his insane playing style is so distinctive it is impossible for it to be anyone else. For this part you’re going to need a delay pedal, flanger, and a pitch shifter. Johnny plays some crazy harmonics like 2.5 which is halfway between the second and third fret. I suggest you read the attached legend in order to decipher the method I used to arrange his bends and pre-bends.

The sweet smelling soap of the wash, rinse, repeat cycle of life now is the 8:30 to 10:pm guitar sessions on Monday and Thursday nights.

From Wiki, some insight to the song –

“Paranoid Android” is categorised by three distinct moods written in what Yorke referred to as three different states of mind.  The song’s lyrics tie in with a number of themes common in OK Computer, including insanity, violence, slogans, and political objection to capitalism. Yorke’s lyrics were based on an unpleasant experience at a Los Angeles bar during which he was surrounded by strangers high on cocaine. In particular, Yorke was frightened by a woman who became violent after someone spilled a drink on her. Yorke characterised the woman as “inhuman”, and said “There was a look in this woman’s eyes that I’d never seen before anywhere. … Couldn’t sleep that night because of it.” The woman inspired the line “kicking squealing Gucci little piggy” in the song’s second section. Yorke, referring to the line “With your opinions, which are of no consequence at all”, said that “Again, that’s just a joke. It’s actually the other way around — it’s actually my opinion that is of no consequence at all.”

From Noam Chomsky on Divergence

[The corporate mass-media] serve to divert the unwashed masses and reinforce the basic social values: passivity, submissiveness to authority, the overriding virtue of greed and personal gain, lack of concern for others, fear of real or imagined enemies, etc.

The goal is to keep the bewildered herd bewildered. It’s unnecessary for them to trouble themselves with what’s happening in the world.  In fact, it’s undesirable – if they see too much of reality, they may set themselves to change it.

From the Zen calendar, virtue steps in to save the day

The understanding of what you are, whatever it be–ugly or beautiful, wicked or mischievous–the understanding of what you are, without distortion, is the beginning of virtue. Virtue is essential, for it gives freedom. It is only in virtue that you can discover, that you can live.  Krishnamurti

Jonathan Rice has some interesting words about the desert –

The transient nature of this environment is unique in both a work and habitation context.  Contractors work 7 days a week 12 hours a day, so the cultivation of personal relationships is challenging.  You’re married to people at work most of your time awake.

New people come in with vigor wanting to ‘fix’ what’s ‘broken,’ 3 months later, the status quo of maintaining the ship begins to take root.

The fortunate have ‘chu’s’ (Contained Housing Units), which differ on the inside based on the inhabitants taste, or lack thereof.  Much different from suburban American, as in country you have 3 default accessories and about 5 to choose from the mini’ shop on base…although oddly enough there is the lifeline to amazon.com.  You could say college dorm accommodations with dust.

The temporal nature of these gigs, long hours and lack of privacy discourages many people from hanging out in a non-work atmosphere.  Folks crave what little private time they can get.  Also it seems taboo to hang out with the opposite sex.  You’re ‘that guy,’ or other sterotypes that come along with a 1 in 25 girl/guy ratio.  Also, to me, something feels inherently wrong about playing Nintendo’s in a militarized zone.

Under more permanent circumstances, I would take more pride in my dwellings and cultivate out-of-work friendships, and maybe even try to have a good time every now and then. 

I opt for the cyborg, keep my head straight and not let the dust and muck rub, keep the heart rate between 170 and 190 at the gym, early to bed early to rise, learn and learn because the livin’ isn’t as easy.

I’m sure Cicero would have a few things to say about this, if he were around today.

Chalking today up to the memoirs.  A cold, damp, miserable day in Iraq –

Geography is a curious thing.  In Josh Ritter’s Live from Vicar Street DVD, he explains the first time he went to Ireland.  He was living in New York, and It was cheaper for him to fly to Ireland rather than back home to Idaho.  He’s gained a tremendous fan base in Ireland, exemplified by the beautiful gal singing along at the top of her lungs with ‘Kathleen’ in the front row.  On the Hello Starling album, the song ‘California’ has an irony in the lyrics, ‘ill be back when I’m good and ready, California doesn’t seem to think I’m ready.’ How can a lad from Idaho ‘make it’ in California — as the psychology between these states is quite different, and the song insinuates.

One day I’ll look back and understand and appreciate the surroundings accompanying this prose.  No matter how fast I run to get things done, the job will never be finished, there is no home, at least for now.  I’ll still have the couple miles or so of wiggle room for the time being; a captive of high walls, barbed wire, and a clash of civilizations.

What was said on the Alcatraz tour; The rock was such a tough place to be because it was right off the heart of San Francisco, so the inmates could see the free world, so close yet so far, they knew precisely what they were missing.

Similar circumstances exist for a person deployed.  You can see the world through the lens of web browser, you can see what you’re missing, but you can’t physically interact.

Today I whip out my favorite snow albums for the cold windy Baghdad rain…I don’t know much about the snow, but the boys from Travis who produced The Man Who and Sondre Lerche who’s album Two Way Monologue were written from the perspectives of the Scotts and Norwegians respectively.  My feet can feel the Wet Ground, literally and figuratively. 

I’ve braved the gas pumps in International Falls in -30 degree weather, but I knew the heater wasn’t far away.  When it’s cold here, sometime there isn’t escape.  The morning greets you with a cold shower, the building I work in has a lovely draft that chills you to the bone.  You try to escape back to your sleeping area to get a heat blast only to discover the power has gone out.  By the time you make this discovery, you’ve already drenched your feet in 3-4 unavoidable puddles of water giving your socks that o’ so wonderful soggy feeling.

In the infinite pursuit of self knowledge, I’ve learned to trust myself, respect my family, throw reckless abandonment aside for a better life.  I’m glad I’ve had these miserable days to test my zen and help me put life into perspective.

After review, only TWO Beatles songs have the word ‘truth’ in the lyrics; Within You Without You by George Harrison and Honey Don’t by Ringo Starr.

A fascinating discovery, I wonder if John and Paul deliberately stayed away from such abstract definitions of truth.  The Beatles are hands down the best at creating imaginative truths and realities without being preachy.  They were smart enough to know they didn’t know the answers of contemporary society, but smart enough to exert influence by doing what they did best.

In my estimation, the ultimate quest in the world is the search for truth — hence I’m a student of the sciences and religions, if they’re both right, we meet in the middle.  Religion hits the abstract, science hits the concrete.

Contemporary dialogue constantly explores the abstracts and concretes of this prevailing game.

This mornings readings examine Otto Von Bismark and his reunification efforts of the German Empire circa 1850. Quotations reveal two truths articulated in the different manners.  

An abstract truth: (One you can relate to without being there)

When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. -Otto Von Bismarck

A concrete truth: (you have to see it to believe it)

Anyone who has ever looked into the glazed eyes of a soldier dying on the battlefield will think hard before starting a war. -Otto Von Bismarck

The world is too big and complicated, so most of us have to deal with the abstract.  Virtuous ignorance makes individuals believe they can deal in the concrete on any and all subjects.