divineguitar

something most of the press 2 for english crowd would never appreciate, being in a foreign country, not knowing the language, wanting to have conversations with people, but to no avail.

busting out a concentric ring at a time in exploration, week two has brought a strange sort of lonesome.  i have a bit of a routine, i have some buddies, i have purpose in a job, i have healthy eating, sleeping and exercising routines.

what’s not there is difficult to explain, but i can wrap it up in the world ‘values.’  meeting people with great values is an eye opener, it makes me think i don’t have them…i don’t have bad ones, just not good ones either.  what’s missing is someone to mold me, b/c i’d like to think i’m a nice piece of bronze that just needs a little attention.  i’m molding myself, but golly i’m just a little flabby around the edges.

i feel as if the world is at my fingertips, but it doesn’t really matter that much, its too much to take in.  taking a drive this evening i began to re-realize how big the world actually is.  i have thought over the years that i’m a subject matter expert on ‘x’ or ‘y’ because i’ve checked up on it, but that holds no depth compared to meeting unique, creative and intuitive personalities around the world.  twitter, facebook and skype can’t bring that home for you, and that’s been a very liberating feeling, there still is mystery and enchantment in the world.

i’ve begun to realize the success in life i have is partially due to understanding tradeoffs very well, one of the big tradeoff’s, technology gives us things, but it also takes things away.  those pesky markets and their ‘growth rates’ and numbers and percentages lust over technology at the price of culture.  mom and pop are alive and well in europe, as far as i’ve seen, and something in my inclination tells me i need to help them stay alive rather than watching the stock market numbers.  perhaps i can say that because i feel i’ve succeeded beyond some pretty tough expectations, but i’m feeling something much more personal than i have in many many years.

plans make the world go round, as far as i see, left to my own devices i work for the military industrial complex till i have enough degrees to live out the rest of my days in switzerland or somewhere equivalent.  so many options for everyone, so little imagination.