Lots of abstract ideas floating around today — Interesting what the mind thinks when there is no expectation from anyone, anytime, anywhere. — I've always perceived speaking in absolutes was bad, but on the contrary, I find it easier to determine what's important with no expectation, — rather acceptance. —

What about restaurants?  Ever think about, say, if the seating area is 500 square feet, how big does the kitchen has to be to accommodate a couple hundred people, etc – What's behind the curtain?

Trade Journals — I recall a scene in The Aviator where Leonardo is playing the role of Howard Hughes, who is attending a holiday at girlfriend Katharine Hepburn's house.  The aristocratic  family asks Howard if he reads Vanity Fair, his rebuttal, no, I read trade journals.  He begins to talk about the bleeding edge state of the art engine in the new airplanes only to be ignored.

Game theory and candlesticks are something we bump up against every now and glaze over — the more time you devote I'm assuming things like this get easier to understand.

Lots of meaning and lots of different subjects can be attained by the study of support and resistance.

The transient nature of life can often be maddening, people come and go, old friends new friends, motion without movement, thought leading to emotion and vice versa.

The other two minutes of rain a few months back cleared the air, it was actually beautiful, or maybe I just thought so b/c I’ve grown ac costumed to this god forsaken climate and topography.

Sondre Lerche’s new one has been spinnin’ with me in the gym, along with audio books. What do people listen to in the gym, is it mostly ‘pump you up linkin park is a roller coaster type music’, or some sh*t with a ‘beat’ or whatever else have you?

I think about all the time I’ve logged on a treadmill over the last 10 years and go damn, its brought me a lot of sweat. I can recall the austin gym i worked out at, i can almost feel that sweat on my fat head. what can you do about a fat head? losing 30 lbs out here, now ppl say my head looks too big for my body…awwww, the perils of vanity.

metaphorically speaking, rain often comes with a bad connotation, rain in baghdad or sondre singing about it is beautiful and perfect. Tomorrow I believe I’m going to hit up some old Ed Harcourt to keep the pleasant singer songwriter going and to balance out Leonard Cohen’s acid poetry.

– work is good
– chow is amazing
– intangibles surreal

The camaraderie is something I’ve never quite experienced, I know I’m going to come out of this with some lifelong friends.

– The dust is brutal, everything is dirty
– You see the best and the worst of the human spirit here
– You see many people grinding it out

You have to bring integrity and responsibilty to an endeavor like this, because it’s not going to find you here.

1 — fear will never go away as long as you grow

2 — the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it

3 — the only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and do it

4 — not only are you going to experience fear, so will everyone else

5 — fear of being helpless is worse than pushing through fear

– move yourself from a position of pain to a position of power

– love and power go together, with no power love is distorted

– i am powerful and i am loving, i am powerful and i am loved, i am powerful and i love it

– do you see yourself as a victim, or do you take responsibility? never blaming anyone or anything for what you are doing or feeling — blaming is giving away all your power — griping is a habit, get rid of it, it will take time — don’t make yourself a victim of yourself — always do the best given the person you are at the time

– taking responsibility means taking control of the chatterbox inside, the doom and gloom condescending ‘troll’ inside

– we usually anticipate the worse, saying yes dilutes the fear and calmly handles the situation

– saying no resists opportunities and creates apathy

I think you’ll find it in a handful of cities on this side of the pond, people actually knowing the backing vocals. Every time I hear this song it makes me feel and think something differently, and I’m sure I’ve listened to this song more than he’s played it.

The opener, Dan Wilson, old lead singer of Semisonic, who I recall seeing in 96 or 97, and I remember Ashley B loved his hip shaking. He sang closing time, introduced it as the song about your kid that sucks, even though its the ‘most important’ song you’ve ever written, and the rest of the band doesn’t want to be assholes and say it sucks. The blast from the past was perfect for the opening act, and his solo stuff is really good too

Where did these old buildings come from down there? I must say I like what they’ve done to the place, when visiting B/CS, this will now be my focal point.

Here’s the gang, Manuelabor with his wife’s 5 dollar tea, I tried to snag that out of his hands for pictures, but it slipped thru on this one.

A sinister grin on my face with Manuelabor, showing top teeth.

Gang signs, ‘Martinez’ and and notice Laci throwing up the ‘LM’

No wine, no steak, Mi Cocina in College Station instead, can you say AMAZING TAMALES?

Can’t even think about vanity in the form of ‘walking cool looking dog to get chicks attention’ yet.

Tragic Mirror

Here’s a man, his own tragic mirror
capable of such crimes he is scared
to look at himself too long at a time.
Here’s a man, his own wrapped up worry
thinking he will do wrong very shortly.
The answer remains locked up in his head.

And charity plays a game with your head
it gets to you now, it gets to you now
and charity plays away with your head
it gets to you now, it gets to you now.
Somehow you’ve got to smarten up
and act like nothing’s ever gonna break you
break you, break your mirror in two.

Here’s a man aware of his defects
such a sensitive soul such a rebel
capable of detecting his flaws.
Here’s a man self righteous, self pitying
nursing losses and pain and inflicting guilt
that should keep them busy for days.

And charity plays a game with your head
it gets to you now, it gets to you now
and vanity takes your dog for a walk
it gets to you now, it gets to you now.
Somehow youve got to smarten up
and act like nothing’s ever gonna
break you, break you, break your mirror in two.

Here’s a man really worth the attention
so mature but so dumb.
In broad daylight the answer remains locked up in his head
it’s blowing around somewhere in his head.

Lets see, if I can recall what went on this week, I have that can’t remember sh*t disease. Biggest thing that strikes my mind was the ‘Emo’s Free Week’ night on the town, and the topic of this rant shall be……..

Tenacity vs Normalcy with a touch of what is meant by authenticity.

Tenacity — I used to be under the perception that tenacity was the way to be ‘cool’ when it came to a night out on the town. Don’t get me wrong, tenacity is cool when it comes to fulfilling endeavours, but when it comes to trading stories of how drunk one got, or ‘I got drunker than you’, etc, etc, etc…..In this context, eventually you face the music and admit there’s always someone cooler than you, and the ‘payoff,’ well really isn’t a payoff.

Well, someone said when you’re young, popular, and beautiful and if you rely on this, you’ve only got one way to go, and obviously that’s down. The new edict I’m trying to sell, is that super cool people are ambitious, having a realistic vision that you are able to articulate, and you trying to sell it. That’s the cool version of tenacity.

Normalcy — This young lad and I made friends the other night people watching. It’s interesting watching as an ‘outsider’ when it comes to a rock n roll lifestyle. Three dudes, walking down the street, starched collars (one of these probably cost more than my entire wardrobe), lots of product in the hair, lookin’ like men on a mission. Three girls, walking down the street, ‘party’ attire, giggling amongst themselves, perhaps at some dudes absurd pickup line, but maybe just like Cyndi Lauper says ‘girls just wanna have fun.’

I think I’ve had a pretty good grasp on normalcy, and it lies somewhere between the collar shirts, and my $8 Old Navy special that’s a few years old. I’ve got to work to bring myself to the level of ummmm, maybe a nice, ummmm, Polo? shirt.

Normalcy in terms of moderate drinking is surely is on the horizon, it’s started and it feels great. The nail in the coffin will be a new job.

The Shins talk about ‘posts that you can heat your faith on,’ obviously one being religion, and one day I’ll further bash about this bureaucracy between you and a God, but for now lets just say it’s a work in progress trying to sift thru the ‘tools we devise to make sinking stones fly.’

Another post is the human need for togetherness. I recently read an article about can the human mind actually process ‘freewill,’ and my opinion is ‘HECK no, sure can’t.’ That being the case, stability becomes more and more important to you. Individual choices (not bad choices, just choices) have temporary landed me a harbor with sis, and yes, it does make me feel like Robbie Hart, Wedding Singer style. Stability comes with ‘settling your a$$ down’, and more of that is probably on the horizon for me.

Many people face an uphill march, when it comes to the taboos of society. Weather it be the idea of short changin’ yourself in a relationship, accepting a savior in the ether, wondering if you really do love big brother, or just plain turning left when society turns right, I’d like to think the uphill march is more fulfilling, and I’ll try to make the hike in whatever circumstances I can.

Authenticity, whew, how many dudes in franz ferdinand suits did I see the other night? How many gals did I see in prom dress type getups with hair poofed this way and that. The look is authentic, until you go to a place that has 1,000 people that look the same (don’t get me wrong, ATX is way cool, and maybe I’m just envious b/c I can fit my a$$ in a size 28 waist.)

True authenticity is really a state of mind that comes from tolerance of different things, and can be achieved thru engagement, not only in all things cool, and all things digital (i.e. your favorite websites, new, hangouts, and IPOD), but also trying new things, getting out of your comfort zone, and for the extremely hip culture, that means caring about your parents and showing a genuine interest in other people’s lives, and other lame stuff like that, many things in which people in general don’t take the time to do.

That’s authenticity to me, keeping in touch with the cool kids (but not in competition), bustin’ your butt to keep up with society, information and technology, and finally tackling the overhead of life gracefully.

Puttin’ all your stuff into different silos, knowing which one is which, and when to take the tenacious approach, the normal approach, and keeping in touch with authenticity, the hygiene factors in your life should be more favorable. I’m getting it sorta worked out in my head as I type, hey that’s what this is for, right.

For 2007, I’m considering ditchin’ the ‘what’s in my head’ approach to the blog, and focusing on a an approach more like this or this. It gets old, it gets boring. I’m going to write in a more engaging, instead of the ‘as a matter of fact’ approach, and see how that works, and try to encourage feedback, etc.

O well, enough is enough for now, If you’ve read this far, like Mr. T would say, ‘I pity the foool.’

No rough hits, good ol titty rubbin’ on the class b team. Class A team hit pretty hard and had a talented little QB. It made me think of all the little personalities and that time in my life, kinda interesting.

The discipline was crazy in Shiner for us football players, but nowadays, the kids sit with their girlfriends and have their cell phones out, chattin’ in the bleachers.

The doc said they used to sell weed to kids under the bleachers, wow, I didn’t really know what that was all about growing up in Shiner, but you know, things may have changed. Damn, the whole kid thing has gotta be hard.

Also, a momentous occasion tonight, as I went knee deep in Barton Springs, first swim lesson with Ashley.